The Right Words

Perhaps you saw it. The headline caught my attention as it boldly proclaimed, “An Arizona priest used one wrong word in baptisms for decades. They’re all invalid.”[1] And the headline wasn’t just talking about one or two baptisms, but thousands of baptisms that took place since the priest started his ministry in 1995. Rather than reciting, “I baptize you,” his habit was to say, “We baptize you.” Because of his mistake, made in both English and Spanish over the years, Rev. Andres Arango, described as a good priest, resigned.

The article goes on to state that:

As far as the diocese is aware, all of the other sacraments that Arango conferred are valid. But because baptism is the “sacrament that grants access to all the others,” a botched baptism could invalidate any subsequent sacraments, including confirmation, marriage and holy orders.

“What this means for you is, if your baptism was invalid and you’ve received other sacraments, you may need to repeat some or all of those sacraments after you are validly baptized as well,” the diocese said.[2]

When I first heard this on the news, I was speechless. Incredulous might be a better word. Even though I’m not Roman Catholic, my heart goes out to those poor souls, thousands of them over the past quarter century, who are now being told by their church authorities that they are not really a part of the church because of a “mistake” made by a priest due to a single word he uttered.

I am sure this will be the topic of many theological and philosophical debates. Ecclesiastical law, semantics, and likely the priest’s ethnicity and language will be analyzed, scrutinized, and categorized for some time. All because of a single word, intended to convey a good thing, but suddenly upsetting the lives of the very persons it was intended to bless.

It is sometimes difficult to find the right word, isn’t it? Finding the right words or getting the words right is something that preachers like me spend a lot of time on. And the Bible has a lot to say about our words, as did Jesus. Remember when He said, “For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matthew 12:37 NKJV)?

The Apostle Paul said, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Romans 10:13 NIV), which was a paraphrase of Joel 2:32 in the Old Testament.

It doesn’t sound difficult. It doesn’t require reciting an exact word or phrase. It couldn’t be more inclusive. Everyone has an equal opportunity to “call on the name of the Lord,” and find salvation and eternal life. It is sad that such a simple thing could become so complicated and confusing.

Jesus told a story about two men praying. One, a very religious man, used a lot of fancy language and did his best to point out to God that he was righteous and worthy. Jesus pointed out that this man’s boasting did nothing to gain God’s attention or admiration. In stark contrast, the other man, considered a great sinner, “stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’” Jesus went on to say, “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 18:13-14 NIV)

God had mercy on the man who asked for it. What are the right words that our merciful God listens to? Sincere words. Humble words. Truthful words. Caring words. Loving words. Compassionate words. Contrite words. Grateful words. Heartfelt words. Halting words. Faith-filled words. Intercessory words. Clear words. Kind words. Simple words.

Even as He died upon the cross, we see the contrast between the right and wrong words. Dying between two criminals, one spoke words of derision, the other spoke words of contrition. This is how Luke 23:39-43 (NIV) describes the scene:

One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”

But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”

Simple words. Dying words. Sincere words. The right words: “Jesus, remember me.” No baptism. There wasn’t time or opportunity for it. No long confession to a priest. Just a heartfelt plea to the High Priest, Jesus Christ. And Jesus’ response was good news for all of us sinners who call upon the Lord: “. . .today you will be with me in paradise.”

Jesus often used simple words, words a child could understand. He called his first disciples in John chapter one using 5 simple words. “Follow me. Come and see.” Those were the right words to draw them into a lifetime of adventure, travel, and service. Those simple words were the right words that changed the world and are still changing lives today.

The most important words, the right words, are often difficult to speak.

I am sorry.

I was wrong.

Please forgive me.

I forgive you.

I love you.

I care.

But don’t wait until your dying day. Practice saying the right words until they come automatically from your heart. Don’t worry about getting them wrong. Don’t worry that somebody higher up will rule them invalid. Jesus always receives these as the right words. And in the end, His opinion is the only one that counts.

©2022 Don Detrick


[1] “An Arizona priest used one wrong word in baptisms for decades. They’re all invalid.” NPR News Religion, February 15, 2022. Accessed 2/16/2022 at https://www.npr.org/2022/02/15/1080829813/priest-resigns-baptisms?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20220216&utm_term=6328018&utm_campaign=news&utm_id=4920732&orgid=&utm_att1

[2] Ibid.

Ancient Lessons From Aristotle: Connecting with Online Audiences in a Covid-19 World

The world seems to be stalled at the intersection of pandemonium and chaos.

Caught off guard, nobody seemed to have a contingency plan to mitigate a global pandemic. So in Spring 2020 the world scrambled to assemble protocols and systems to accomplish things many human beings have not had to deal with in their generation. We’ve grown accustomed to YouTube videos going viral, usually of some trivial amusement, like a cat playing chopsticks on the piano. We were not prepared to deal with an actual life-threatening virus (Covid-19) going viral, spreading disease and mayhem around the world.

Reader Note: This post was made during the Spring 2020 Global Covid-19 Pandemic, and is targeted for ministers and speakers or anyone who is delivering online video messages to connect with people experiencing isolation due to shelter in place orders or quarantines.

This is especially true for churches and pastors who are used to having a literal platform to stand on with a nearby audience to preach to. All that changed in a moment when governors across the United States and authorities around the world issued edicts to shelter in place, outlawing gatherings of any kind. This was not an attack on religion or First Amendment rights, but an issue of public safety. Most churches readily complied, and within a few hours were devising new methods to communicate and continue to engage their faith community.

When it comes to making significant leadership decisions that involve extensive changes and effort, many pastors and church leaders historically take a “wait and see” approach. Change is hard and often painful, especially for groups of people known for their propensity to cling to traditions, ancient or modern. Motivation for real and substantive change requires a sense of urgency to help people move from where they are to where they need to be. The ultimate sense of urgency brought about by the Coronavirus Crisis and subsequent government officials’ lockdown orders in states and municipalities created an immediate sense of urgency.

Organizational change generally requires a systematic process that involves a coalition of people who can intelligently answer the “why?” and the “when?” questions that present the compelling reason for change in the first place. For many churches, debate is all that ever takes place, leading to procrastination and stagnation as the world changes around them, and leaves them arguing about insignificant relics of the past, like replacing the pews with chairs, or style of worship, or even service times. All that changed when pastors were forced by reasons of public safety to find a different way to do church. We simply could not do “business as usual” for the foreseeable future. 

So without wasting time debating the “why?” or the “when?,” churches sprinted in an effort to discover answers to the “what?” and “how?.” They quickly pivoted toward online delivery systems and other creative ways of doing and being the church. Pastors who had never dreamed of streaming their services on Facebook, or lacked the equipment and resources for doing livestreaming or preparing a video, discovered that someone in the congregation with a smartphone could effectively use that tool to accomplish the task. There are a multitude of ways to take church online, from the simple smartphone to a million-dollar state of the art audio/visual system with all the latest HD cameras, bells, and whistles. But at the end of the day, it all boils down to this:

How do you effectively pivot from communicating with a live audience to simply speaking into a faceless camera in an empty room?

If you listened closely, you could hear echoes of the past back to a time when churches were forced to go underground, literally or figuratively, because of a different kind of government edict. And if you took a moment to explore back even farther than the history of that echo, you would discover an unlikely source of inspiration for the connection and communication challenges of today in the writings of Aristotle (384-322 BC), a disciple of Plato. His thoughts on the art of persuasion, what we usually refer to as rhetoric, might shed some ancient light to illuminate and enhance how we communicate with a virtual online audience in today’s pandemic panicked world.

Aristotle’s Rules of Rhetoric have been taught to speakers, politicians, lawyers, and preachers for thousands of years. Using the Greek words of Logos (logic), Pathos (emotion), Ethos (ethics or trust), and Kairos (a moment in time), he proposed a logical way to persuade or win an argument. When we stand or sit to speak to our audience, we certainly don’t want to take on the tone of an argument. That is what politicians do. But we do want to be persuasive.

Also bear in mind that Aristotle’s use of those words does not necessarily align with the New Testament Greek use of the words. For example, pathos occurs three times in the NT, with the connotation of sinful desire (Rom. 1:26; Col. 3:5; 1 Thess. 4:5). But the word itself is the basis for English words like empathy and pathetic, which convey a feeling or emotion, good or bad. And the writer of Hebrews uses a similar word, sumpatheo. Hebrews 4:15 describes how Jesus was touched by “the feeling of our infirmities” (KJV), in contrast with Aristotle’s mythical Greek gods, whom he believed could never be compared with humans.

The simple concepts of logic, trust, emotions, and timing provide us with guidance as we communicate in this crisis, and plan our communication strategy. Virtually every communication and conversation, especially those being broadcast or livestreamed, should combine elements of rhetoric, and be recognized as Crucial Conversations, defined by the authors of the book by the same name, as “high stakes, high emotions, and diverse opinions.”[1]

Having been afforded the opportunity a few years ago to attend a two day Crucial Conversations training workshop, I learned the importance of their first rule, “Lead with the heart.” Thus, I place pathos as self-awareness and awareness of the emotions and feelings of others, as the first consideration of any crucial conversation.

Pastors can be themselves. They should lead with their hearts in the current crisis, but make calm decisions using their heads so that the resulting actions (hands) will produce positive outcomes. In simplistic terms, I am suggesting the below graphic model might help you as a template or matrix for what you say and how you say it. So, with appreciation to Aristotle, I’d propose that you consider these thoughts as a potential matrix or lens as you create online content:

Lead with the heart:  Pathos/Emotions (Heart)

  • Gospel = “Good News” that God is still in control!
  • Be pastoral – be a shepherd
  • Be warm and empathetic: “Jesus wept”
  • Smile & be vulnerable
  • Look into the camera
  • Visualize you are speaking to a large crowd, but focused on a single attentive young person who is looking to you for answers to their persistent questions
  • Consider the feelings of your audience, their pain, anxiety, fears, or grief
  • Recognize some may feel guilty because they are OK, still have their jobs, etc.
  • Don’t minimize their fears
  • Be kind
  • Model and propose generosity
  • Don’t add to their shame
  • Point them to the love of God
  • Tell uplifting stories from your own faith community and from elsewhere
  • How are we impacting our neighbors?

Be Biblical:  Logos/Logic (Head)

  • Speak truth in loving ways
  • Don’t claim to be an expert
  • Don’t try to answer every question
  • Direct them to a community group
  • Check your facts
  • Emphasize Christ’s Sufficiency and God’s attributes
  • Remain Gospel-focused
  • Point them to Jesus
  • Direct them to Scripture
  • Ask them to consider the “why” question of their life: “Why am I here on earth?”
  • Lead them to a decision: “What about you?” “How will you respond?” but don’t coerce
  • Application for today, show them the steps for helping themselves, then helping others
  • Keep the community and broader community in focus
  • Direct them to resources for further study

Speak with confidence:  Ethos/Ethics/Integrity (Hands)

  • Rely on the Holy Spirit
  • Be yourself
  • Practice your message in front of the mirror, record it on your phone video and playback or ask for someone in your home to watch at a safe distance (But don’t increase home tensions if you are in isolation together!)
  • Be positive
  • Be calm
  • Be encouraging
  • Focus on hope and faith
  • Cast vision, not stones
  • “This shall pass”
  • Leave them with something to believe in
  • Leave them with something to do
  • You may not be able to solve the world’s problems, but what is one thing you can do today?

Consider the timing:  Kairos/Timing (Horology = Clocks/Schedule)

  • Remember what is happening in their world
  • Keep it short & simple
  • Slow down
  • We are all mortal, but we all have this Kairos moment today
  • Destiny
  • Think “is this tweetable?”
  • Consider your team’s time, and express appreciation
  • Examples from history of people who made it through tough times
  • Remember both the “here and now” and the “then and there”
  • Encourage them to take time for spiritual disciplines and Sabbath
  • Stay connected
  • Pray

Feel free to share and add your own thoughts in the comments section. You can decide what is right, wrong, missing, or confusing about what I have written. But hopefully it will provide a lens for some of you to sharpen your communication strategy in these crucial days. How will you lead with your heart, head, and hands?

Remember, Jesus has placed you in this time of history for this purpose: to communicate His love and a certain future to an uncertain world. You have a destiny. You can do it. Jesus is enough. I am cheering you on.

Below is a graphic showing my rendition of Aristotle’s main components in the art of gaining favor with an audience and leading them toward engagement toward you and your message:


[1] Patterson, Kerry, eds. Crucial Conversations: Tools For Talking When Stakes Are High. New York : McGraw-Hill, 2012. Print, various pages.